I don’t know if it’s because we’re getting near summer, or whether its the current global economic and political uncertainty that’s made people’s brains go a bit fuzzy, but the creative world of consumer technology has gone insane.

Under pressure from PutSimply fairy godmother Juliet for my recent blogging slackness and struggling to find inspiration on what to pontificate on for a few paragraphs, I was about to give up when Gizmodo and TechDigest came to my rescue. Thanks to them I was inundated with pure technology madness which was way too fascinating to ignore:

First there was a story about solar powered ladies lingerie which keeps your ‘bits’ warm in winter and also charges your mp3 player/mobile phone. The question that sprang to mind, apart from ‘why?’, was I wonder if they’re in the market for a tech PR agency? :o)

Then there was Nike’s seriously ugly trainers which will help you track down WiFi hotspots. I wouldn’t be seen dead in them and will happily take my chances on luck, common sense and more traditional means like asking someone.

Next came a company in Japan which has developed a camera and facial recognition system for cigarette machines that will literally look for wrinkles, facial sagging and other signs of ageing before letting someone buy cigarettes. I love the reverse psychology. How mortified would you be as a 15 year old teenager trying to get a nicotine fix, if the machine actually let you buy a packet? And on the flip side, how delighted would you be as a thritysomething if it declined you?

I’m not finished yet. Next I found out that Starbucks, yes THE Starbucks has its own record label and has just engineered its own proprietary “HD” audio format called CODE. If this doesn’t emphasise the dangers of drinking too much coffee I don’t know what will.

Lastly, there was the puzzle alarm clock which does exactly as its name suggests. A perfectly normal looking alarm clock apart from the puzzle on top which you have to complete in order to turn the damn alarm off. Rest assured I shall not be in the queue to buy one any time soon. Firstly, I have an extremely annoying cat who would most definitely steal the jigsaw pieces and hide them, leaving me a bit stuck. Secondly, the chances of me being compos mentis at 6:00am is slim to none.

If you know of any other ridiculous technology please send a comment, I want to start a collection.